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Yet she’s still the only one of the Carters I can stick. RANDOM questions: whatever happened to England World Cup songs?

Sanctimonious Linda (unlikely “ex-Page 3 girl”) is like a haemorrhoid made flesh. US ambassador Woody Johnson, Inside The American Embassy. Does Joachim Low have that haircut beamed in direct from the 70s?

Horizon's boffins insisted it's theoretically possible, but then so is my marriage to Rachel Riley and that won't happen either. Andi Peters was in Emmerdale’s Woolpack asking about Corrie. Pamela Anderson, a star for 26 years, was patronisingly introduced as “the most famous WAG in the world” because she’s dating Adil Rami. How much better would this show have been with Danny Baker at the helm, or even James Corden? And no, that’s not the title of Gemma Collins’s sex tape; although maybe it should be... Season one ended with magnificent Maeve leading a robot uprising, but series two rarely delivered the excitement that promised. Could humans make choices, or are we pre-programmed to make the same old mistakes? To which the obvious answer is yes now get on with the bloody story.

But if it did, what odds some pin-headed time tourist would bring back a pet rat from 1346 and re-start the plague on our wedding day? Just listen to old TV theme tunes: Dallas, Bonanza, M. His Paul Mc Cartney special on Sky One was magical. HBO’s robot saga Westworld is brilliant in many ways – the cast, the setting, the direction... It’s also the biggest and most expensive wind-up since Jeremy Beadle’s alien. It ended with Maeve apparently dead, Dolores reborn as a clone of Charlotte Hales, and the merciless Man In Black revealed as a robot.

These are tough times for UK broadcasters who urgently need to invest in quality dramas to keep up. Angela Merkel apparently said our countries must get on "for the sake of sex access". Collar askew and steam coming out of his ears, Morgan ranted over guests and got het up over an England defeat that really didn’t matter.

Why not dramatize John Niven's terrific novels, Mick Herron's spy stories, or Caimh Mc Donnell's Dublin trilogy? *TV's Top 5 female lushes: Calamity Jane (Deadwood), Patsy Stone (Ab Fab), Kat Moon, Shirley Carter, Karen Walker (Will & Grace). He claimed repeatedly that Colombia were a bigger threat than Japan, even though the Samurai Blues beat Los Cafeteros 2-1 earlier in this tournament.

The health service wastes millions and has become second rate. Apparently she ties the guy to the bed and then goes off and eats lard.

Chucking cash at the NHS without root-and-branch reform is like sticking a plaster on an amputated leg.

Sharp Objects clearly wants to be this year's Big Little Lies - big liquor lies, perhaps? even if that Colombia match had millions of us sweating like Big Nastie under the studio lights. There's only one group they actively ignore - the long-suffering majority who pay their wages.The missing kid doesn't drive the narrative though. The woman knocks back so much vodka her breath must be flammable. The holy hypocrite still reluctantly pays Rowella for favours, despite calling her a "vile acquisitive harlot". Poldark cranked up the misery to Corrie levels last weekend. God knows how they coped when Ross was swinging his big pick down that mine. Be thankful Keith Lemon wasn't around to write those scripts... The way they spoke made you suspect they'd been smoking Little Weed. TV subtitles are a constant source of unexpected joy.Adams makes a great drunk, up there with Kat Moon (and/or Jessie Wallace). RANDOM irritations: Odious Ossie's death on Poldark - where's the light relief now? Reverse sexism and double standards on East Enders; its nonce-finder nonsense too. It's hard to believe Morwenna is refusing to bed her husband on Poldark. Recently the Beeb told us vampires were walking onto a cricket pitch - they were umpires. *PIERS Morgan seems to treat his Good Morning Britain job as an audition for voice-over work.Austin Police said they received a call about the first explosion in a neighborhood on the northeast side of the city around a.m., after the 17-year-old resident found a package on the front step, brought it inside, and opened it in the kitchen where it exploded.“It is very similar to the incident that occurred in Austin on March 2,” Austin Police Chief Brian Manley told reporters.One teenager was killed, two women seriously injured.TEXAS – A teenager was killed and at least two women were seriously hurt after a pair of explosions rocked homes in Austin on Monday — just two weeks after a separate blast which authorities said is believed to be linked to both of Monday’s incidents.Many quick-thinking Cockneys have grafted their way to millions – George Walker, Charlie Mullins, Alan Sugar... The writers despise free enterprise so much they’ve made Beale an anti-businessman, a miserly deluded weasel. But the biggest loser here is Adam whose king stud reputation is in tatters. Nice girls don’t fare much better, but Dani Dyer is a sweetheart. Either the Beeb use Tardis technology or those bedroom walls are elastic. Christopher Biggins as odious Ossie Wentworth in Poldark & Christian Brassington in the same role today... Herman Munster minus his neck bolts and plus NHS specs = Richard Osman. Let’s hope her relationship with Jack survives the producers’ cynical deployment of his ex-girlfriend Ellie... Yes, a public body with trust issues in serious long-term decline made some shows about the health service. Of course our dedicated doctors and nurses deserve praise but let’s get real. And East Enders have ruined Mick by rewriting his back story. ROT on TV: Denmark vs France – duller than the East Enders chess saga... Is the Irish town of Muff twinned with Munchen in Germany?Cue unhinged Stuart, the paedo-hunting “best mate” he’s failed to mention since 2013... Enders is awash with dismal dullards: dimbo Robbie, shifty Hunter, alleged “businessman” Ian... Britain’s Best Junior Doctors with dreary Jo Brand – more pointless than Pointless, DNR... WES bedded Laura on Love Island and then brazenly “cracked on” with Megan Parts-Out Hands-On. Livid Laura branded smirking Megan “a slag” and “a stupid bitch”. The women decided to give peevish Dr Alex another chance. Alex is living proof that on this show nice guys finish last. How do so many Slaters fit into one ’ahrse on Dead Enders?

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