Dating married persian women
She even worries that they are speaking about her (which they really never do).
Here's one example of the difficulties my future wife is experiencing.
Practice ways to politely acknowledge or give thanks for this advice, even if you don't plan on following it most of the time.
If you accept your in-laws' well-meaning suggestions as a fact of life, and convince yourself not to resent the suggestions or their makers, you'll be much happier.
My family is from Iran and they have very traditional middle eastern practices.
We imagine that an event like your engagement party would have been much less overwhelming, and probably much more enjoyable, if your fiancee would have been well coached about what to expect. Your family seems very warm and loving, but they probably don't understand how overwhelmed your fiancee is with the cultural and language differences.She appreciates the fact that my fairly large family consists of many really warm people, but at the same time she is overwhelmed by it.It is extremely difficult for her to sit at the table while all of the adults are conversing in Persian.They speak Persian at the table and the men are very loud.Although I was raised in America, I have learned to accept, and even appreciate, these practices because I grew up with them.My future mother-in-law actually said to me, "We appreciate a happy face." I am a little resentful of this statement and that her family expects me to constantly be smiley and hyper. I was raised in a house where my mother and sisters basically always did the housework. I hope you can write back soon, as I am sure you will have some wise advice for both of us. Rafi in LA Your letter beautifully highlights some of the problems that arise when two people from different Jewish cultures become engaged.Now, I realize that this will change a little when I am married, but my fiancée is also fine with the fact that doing the dishes is not exactly going to be a hobby of mine after we marry. She believes that she must remind me every once in a while that I need to do house chores, and although I realize this I do not need my future mother-in-law to remind me. It's very natural for you and your fiancee to feel these emotions.Consider helping clear the table or drying the dishes next time you're at your in-laws' -- it will make your future mother-in-law happy that you're thinking of her feelings and that you want to be a helpful husband to her daughter.This suggestion will help you with a lesson that most people learn after several years of marriage: Almost all in-laws are "guilty" of offering unsolicited and unwanted advice.They would probably be receptive to ideas that will help her feel more at home among them.Ask them to consider including her in family conversations by addressing her in English and letting her know what's going on during your family "discussions." It might also be helpful for you to enlist a couple of your siblings or cousins to take her under their wings, periodically telephoning her, offering to go shopping together, and making sure she feels included at family gatherings. Just as your future wife will have to get accustomed to your family's customs and expectations, you'll have to get used to hers.