Dating men with small children
My date has only the fondest memories of watching his dad court his mom on their weekly date nights and annual parent-only vacations — in addition to the family road-trip. “My dad made it clear that his relationship with my mom was the center of everything, while he was also the best dad ever,” he said.) highlighted a 2005 essay by Aylete Waldman about the fact that she puts her husband and their fantastic sex life above their four kids. Four children with whom I spend a good part of every day: bathing them, combing their hair, sitting with them while they do their homework, holding them while they weep their tragic tears. If a good mother is one who loves her child more than anyone else in the world, I am not a good mother. In the event you don’t seek a romantic partner, where do you focus that energy if not on your children? Looking forward to that business trip even though you have to leave the kids at home?
The most interesting thing about the essay was the resulting shitstorm of controversy which landed Waldman on a much-viewed Oprah episode during which a hostile audience nearly attacked her. Cliche as it may sound: You gotta put yourself first. You must make it a top priority to hang out with other adults — girlfriends, dates, relatives and friends.
Because in those families, there is all the more love to go around.
When I was younger, during my college days, my friends and I swore that we would never date a man with children. Like me, he was interested in making healthy lifestyle choices.
This was mainly because growing up in my neighborhood, we were only accustomed to one type of single dad, and that was one who was barely present in his child’s life–an irresponsible I felt this way until I met a guy I really liked, only to find out that he had kids. We talked every day through phone calls and text messages. He was also an educated man who loved and looked fantastic in a good suit.
However, if you consider yourself to be someone who would like to remain childfree, then liking someone might not be enough to persuade you otherwise.
Even if you have your own children, be aware that this doesn’t necessarily mean you are ready to take on someone else’s kids as well. It is a lot more difficult to break up with someone when you have to break up with their child as well.