Dating opposites attract

"People who have studied attachment pretty much have learned that if two people are physically proximate and neither does bad things to the other, they can fall in love. People do not look at a spreadsheet or checklist." Yet -- Ickes points out -- matching people is now a growth industry. Perry, Ph D, a social psychologist and author of Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, is also a psychologist for an online dating service. "I'd say if one was an avid sports fan, watching and playing, and the mate only likes to read, that couple might have difficulties," Perry says.

Perry says, "People tend to look for almost a clone of themselves. What if one was detail conscious and the other was "big picture" oriented? Bottom line: If the people's values and ways they want to spend time are different, this could lead to "big trouble," Perry says. They make up a shopping list instead." While in the "market," do they evaluate the goods carefully?

It means that people of different tastes / personalities are more likely to be attracted to each other, like an extrovert to an introvert or whatever. All studies show that the happiest and most enduring relationships are between people who are pretty similar in terms of their interests / values / hobbies / intellects / tastes / politics / whatever.

Recognized as one of the Princeton Review’s Top 300 Professors, he has also authored dozens of publications for both academic and non-academic audiences.

Here, partners are not truly opposite but instead have qualities that fit nicely with the partner.

For example, if one partner is needy while the other is nurturing, it may work for their relationship.

However, when our partner has similar values, likes/dislikes, personality characteristics, hobbies, interests, and background the relationship is more likely to succeed (also see our post on "Where's the Best Place to Meet Someone? There is also evidence that thinking about high quality relationships increases perceptions of similarity. If both partners were hard-working, extroverted, and liked to travel they could both work 60 hour weeks and then relax by partying and taking vacations around the world.

Now, you may be thinking, “my partner and I are nothing alike, and we’re very happy.” Chances are that you and your partner are more similar than you realize and are just more inclined to notice the differences. There is some research showing that partners who complement each other’s qualities can be successful.

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